Ayat Power Samy Vellu

Samy Vellu on pos laju :- "BESOK KIRIM, HARI INI SAMPAI" :-)

On TV when in trying to say he was ashamed, he said:`Kemaluan saya besar`

Samy said in a ceramah "Kita akan bina satu jambatan untuk orong-orong kampong disini",
one pakcik asked, "Datuk, sini takde sungai,buat apa bina jambatan?"
and Samy glorious replied,"Kalau takde sungai, kita bina sungai!"

Whenever Samy opens his mouth it's always volume 10. Never see him talk softer.

Samy's favorite quote on national television for the decade is this lah:"Toll naik sikit, manyak marah saya. You ingat semua ini toll saya punya bapa punya kah!"

Semasa krisis air: "semua orang diminta jgn membuang aiyerr..!"

Tentang masaalah sosial: "..orang2 muda sekarang banyak hisap dada.."

Semasa kempen derma darah sg Siput:"..marilah kita semua menderma dara.."

Semasa memberi ucapan di pelbagai function: "...selamat datang saudara-mara semua.." (sebenarnya saudara-saudari)

During the height of the al-Arqam saga, he said in a press conference, "Saya gembira bahawa didapati tiada pemuda MIC terlibat dalam kes Arqam.."

Samy Vellu, you seem to be very popular. Everyone here seem to be taking pot shot of that rat sleeping on your head.

At an opening ceremony:"mempersilakan datin paduka rafidah aziz naik ke pentas utk membuka kain"

Commenting about his modesty: "sebenarnya, kemaluan saya sangat-sangat besar"

PLUS = Pungut Lebih Untuk Samy

That's why Samy can use PLUS helicopter whenever he want.

DEDICATED TO SAMY VELLU
Kici kici lembu jaga
sudah besar kerani jaga
masuk MIC tol jaga
kiri pusing kanan pusing jadi kaya

ada misai tara jangut itu kucing
ada jangut tarak misai itu kambing
ada jangut ada misai itu taram singh
tarak misai tarak jangut tarak rambut itu botak chin
TAPI itu tarak misai, tarak jangut, tarak rambut tapi taruh rambut itu kaki pusing.

Buying In China

A man went on a business to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his kids. He went to a shop and found a nice looking CD player. Wary of buying inferior goods, he asked the shopkeeper, 'What would happen if this does not work?'
The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads, 'GUARANTEE NO SPOILT'.
Feeling assured, he paid for the CD player and returns to his hotel. He tried to use the CD player after returning to the hotel but it would not even switch on.
He quickly return to the shop and asked for a refund or an exchange for another unit. When the shopkeeper refuse to give either, the man points to the sign assuring him of a guarantee.
The shopkeeper then said, 'Brother, you are in China . We read from the right to the left.'

Indon, Bangla, Malaysian

Indon, Bangla & Malaysian
An Indonesian, a Bangladeshi and a Malaysian are in a bar one night having a beer. The Indonesian finishes his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and shoots the glass to pieces.He brags, "In Jakarta our glasses are so cheap that we don't need to drink from the same one twice."

The Bangladeshi obviously impressed by this drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces.He says, "In Dhaka we have so much sand to make the glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."

The Malaysian, cool as a cucumber, finishes his drink,throws his glass into the air, pulls out his gun andshoots the Indonesian & the Bangladeshi. He says "In KL we have so many Indon and Bangla that we don't need to drink with the same ones twice."

Lesson From Monkey

A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.

He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. he sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down. While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same.

Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.

He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grandfather's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, he threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise the monkeys still held on to all the hats. Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said............
Guess What????????
............. ........... ........ ....... .. .. .. .. .. .. "You think only you have a grandfather?"